2008 October 23 | Fiestacracy

Archive for 23 October, 2008

23October2008

You can’t judge a book by it’s cover, unless the cover is made of bread, the pages; assorted meats and cheeses, and the words; various condiments. Then, you’re going to need a glass of milk and a pickle slice to judge it properly.

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As I was making the deposit, the bank teller quipped that I must have had a money tree in my back yard or something. “Or something,” I responded. I was so nervous that beads of sweat were running down my forehead. She was on to me. I was thinking to myself, “They’ll never find the seeds.”
I became increasingly suspicious about my wife having an affair. I’ll find inspector 73.
I hit a deer and it nearly totaled my car, but the damage was mostly from the cement truck it was driving.
Urban detective: “Sometimes, you have to do crack to crack the case”
I was thinking about what pet to get recently, and then I was like, “Why don’t I get a mini person?” Maybe just a little one at puppy stage. One that wouldn’t be too big full size. As it turns out, you can’t just go to a pet store; you have to go through an agency. Even then though, they can’t guarantee that you won’t be allergic to it, which is why I had to get a parrot.
I don’t just flirt with danger. I go all the way.
Anyone who says politicians don’t have our best interests in mind doesn’t care enough about fancy suits, bribes, or prostitutes.
As a papervore, voting can be one of the hardest things to do. Never go to the polls on an empty stomach.
I think the world is ready for soul metal, but even moreso; death jazz.
“You folks never been to the everglades before? It’ll be fine if ya don’t mind a little gator spit on yer boots.”

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